


live, laugh, love faking your own death

by fun ghouls defective bomb (ranboo_of_our_own)



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: F/F, Gen, I love her, a lot of swearing on newsies part, spies spies spies, spy AU, supposed character death, would simp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25024564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranboo_of_our_own/pseuds/fun%20ghouls%20defective%20bomb
Summary: a totally normal and not at all interesting spy au. yep.
Relationships: (mentioned) - Relationship, DJ Hot Chimp/NewsAGoGo (Danger Days)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Newsie took a deep breath, straightening her bow tie. She wasnt wearing a dress to this, even if it was real which she doubted, but cherri convinced her to put on something formal. Black long sleeve, a white bow tie, should be good enough to get him off her ass. Its not like party was really dead anyway. She refused to believe it.

She had been in this business since she was 17, had faked her death more than once. That had to be what had happened. Even if it had been two months of radio silence, even if everyone really believed it. Thats what made him a good spy. He could pull off stuff like this. But she knew better, party was still alive somewhere. Even if today was his funeral.

Even if newsie knew party was still alive she still cried. She cried when she thought about it too hard, she cried when she realized he could be gone for good. That was the reason she was even coming to the funeral, the reason she was getting out of bed at all. If he was really gone she wasnt going to make the mistake of missing the funeral. She wasnt going to have to live with that.

The ride to the church was silent. She hadnt been in a church since she was seven, but there was a time for everything she guessed. Newsie tried making small talk with cherri in the car but he wouldnt engage, just staring at the road not paying attention to her. If party was still alive newsie swore to everything she could she was going to kill him for this one.

Sitting in the pews of the church was like hell. No one had found a body so the casket in front of the room was closed, so much for closure. Newsie felt like she was going to scream, holding cherri’s hand tight to ground herself. The others from the team were sitting in the same row, kobra was spacing out staring at the carpet, jet was staying silent, even ghoul was quiet for once in his life. Everything felt wrong.

Newsie was able to breathe for a moment before hearing something creak above her.

She glanced around before her eyes met cherri’s. He had heard it as well.

Her heart was beating fast. She had crawled through enough vents to know that sound. Someone was up there. The problem was she didnt know who. It could have been someone from the gang that, supposedly, killed party. Now that was the worst case scenario but newsie had learned to just assume the worst and not get caught off guard. Her and cherri shared a silent conversation and she excused herself from the area, heading to the bathroom of the church. The place she knew had an entrance to the vents.

Crawling through vents in a stuffy church on the day of your friend and coworker’s funeral was as fun as it sounded. She kept inhaling dust but she was trying very hard to make no sound, so coughing was out of the question. If newsie was wrong about this she knew she wasnt going to live it down with cherri. But it was just her luck when she saw someone ahead of her.

Newsie tried hard to not be caught off guard in most situations. It was one of her biggest fears, being speechless and not being able to communicate with people she had to out of shock. That went out the window when she registered the shoes that were on the person in front of her. Mother fucker.

The first mission newsie had ever been on she did it with party. The two of them were on a stake out, and yeah it ended with newsie having to chew her way out of bubble wrap and party having to use a battery and tin foil to start a fire in a strange apartment building in the middle of the city but that wasnt the interesting part. The interesting part was when they were sitting in the car together waiting for their opportunity to move.

Party had seemed annoying at first. Scratch that, he was still annoying but before not in a redeemable way. He had sat with his shoes on the dash of the car scrolling through his phone, which it might have been newsies ocd but the very act of him doing that made her skin crawl. The dirt could get in the ac vents and- newsie had to take a deep breath and refocus. There were shittly painted snakes on the soles and edges of his shoes, she wanted to ask but never did until the team was put together and kobra had teased him about it. 

The snakes on the shoes in front of her were faded but clearly there.

That bitch has some fucking explaining to do.

Newsie moved faster and she could see that stupid red hair as party turned to face her. He looked surprised as newsie scowled.

“Fancy seeing you new-”

“You are an absolute mother fucker!” newsie yelled not caring if the people below could hear her. He put up his hands in fake surrender which made her even more pissed.

“Can we talk about this when im out of the not very well held up vents-” party tried, shifting to sit facing newsie the best he could. Newsie just continued towards him, on a blood path at that point. “These vents might not hold both of u-”

Party couldnt finish the words before the ground fell out from under the two of them.


	2. when you're there you're family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a relaxing meal at olive garden

Newsie had decided she hated olive garden. It was going to be her sole purpose in life to burn the restaurant down if she didnt get answers. And she wanted those answers fast. The ride to the restaurant was as awkward as the one to the funeral, only this time cherri was talking to her to make sure her ankle was okay. 

The fact that her and party had just fallen out of a vent at his own funeral was enough of a distraction for him to get away from her. Newsie tried to talk to him but was ushered away by cherri who was shaken up and wanted to make sure she was alright. It didnt matter that she didnt get to talk to him at the church though, he would have to talk to her at lunch. The group had a mission debriefing and party was now a part of it. It was the least he could do to help, and he was part of the original plan. Even if the group had to do it behind dee’s back.

Now it wasnt that newsie liked going against doctor dee’s wishes. Okay, it wasnt like she planned on going against- okay so maybe she did defy him a lot. The point was when newsie did disobey orders she was usually in the right. Thats why she was part of the midnight runners, she was good at making plans and making them work even if it was against a higher ups call.

So if party survived this fake italian meal he was going to be part of the mission.

That was a very strong if.

The six of them had to get a waiter to help them move a table over so they could sit together when newsie finally got in the restaurant with the others. The group was calm when they ordered the food, acting like nothing was out of the ordinary. It made newsie boil inside but it made sense. They were all spies.

“Are we all just going to ignore the fact that party let us think he was dead for two months and then crashed his own funeral while eating pasta or can we talk about that i think we need to talk about that-” ghoul finally got out once the waiter left.

“Can we please all just ignore the fact that party let us think he was dead for two months and then crashed his own funeral pasta sounds good and i dont think we should talk about that-” party said fast.

“I think ghoul has had a great idea, mind fucking explaining a thing or two poison?” jet star's voice was even but he had a glare directed at party.

Party sighed lightly rubbing at his eyes.

“I was called by the doc to help chimp and neon with a mission upstate. Some gang they were supposed to infiltrate and take down. Things went wrong and i had to go off the grid until i knew it would be safe.” things going wrong and her girlfriend in the same statement? Newsie felt her heart stop for a moment and party gave her a reassuring look “hot chimp and neon are fine, god you are gay.”

“Well im sorry, im just burdened with having someone who loves me back” newsie shrugged, taking a sip of her water so she wouldnt laugh at party’s face. Kobra cracked a smile and ghoul seemed to find it funny but cherri cleared his throat. Right. Back to the debriefing.

“I got the files the other day” jet interrupted “apparently we need to find some kid and bring her back to the nest safe.”

“Im great with children!” ghoul was not, infact, great with children as tests would show.

“Last time you had to baby sit you called me after an hour because you almost burned the house down” kobra commented, folding up his napkin into the best crain he could.

Party’s eyes went wide “and i was not told about that incident-”

“All we have to do is get her safely to doc and we are done with it.” cherri cut in before the three could start arguing. Honestly newsie had started spacing out- why were are six of them needed to get some random kid? Even if it was a high risk situation three people should be enough- was there something cherri wasnt telling her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think in the comments!


	3. newsie in a van, what crimes will she commit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> newsie does her very best with the situation at hand

“If i have to sit in a van with cherri for more than an hour i think it might be dangerous to my mental health-” newsie protested, taking off her seat belt. The group was right outside a large white warehouse in the middle of the night. Nothing creepy about that at all. Though newsie would never admit it, she was a little glad that cherri would be with her. Then she could just focus on unencrypting the files that dee sent the group while cherri looked out for trouble.

The plan was simple. Ghoul and party headed to the vents of the place to drop down and get the girl from where she was being held. Kobra was dressed as one of the guards and cherri was on the coms, leading him to the correct room with the map that newsie had got for him. Kobra would silently take out the guards and party and ghoul would get the girl out safely. All newsie had to worry about was taking down security cameras and getting more files. This honestly could have been a two person job.

“We need both of you here. Cherri will contact the doc and you can take down security cameras for kobra.” jet said, tying his hair back.

“What are you going to be doing?” cherri asked him, turning around in one of the seats in the back to face him.

“I have a different mission to do here, you guys just focus on you” jet told cherri and newsie, sounding way too calm. She frowned slightly at him. Newsie knew the groups whole job was to be secretive, but what the hell? If he went off on his own he could jeopardize the mission, but it seemed like he read her face “i’ll be fine, not going to be in the same area of the building even.”

Newsie didnt believe him but went back to working on disabling security systems on the computer in front of her.

The four headed out and newsie continued to work, tuning out everything around her. It wasnt that she didnt want to talk but the group was on a mission and this was one of the few times she could stay focused. She continued to listen to the coms but nothing came in for a bit, before hearing something from party.

“This is P, coming in, we have an issue with the target” his voice was even but newsie knew him long enough to tell he was at least a little panicked.

“This is news, what kind of issue?”

“. . .the target isnt here”

“. . . . . . . . . . what the hell do you mean the target isnt here?”

“Me and G are above the objective and the target is not here. The objective is empty.” newsie cursed under her breath. She was told the kid would be there. “K hasnt made it to the objective yet, do we wait for him or look for the target?”

Newsie looked to cherri and cherri mouthed ‘your call’. Fucking wonderful.

“Wait for K, he’s on the same line and should know to hold position before the target is found.” newsie shifted in her seat. The plan had been so fucking simple, how did it get messed up like this already? “Im searching through cams as we speak to find the target.”

Newsie flicked through cameras on the computer like her life depended on it. Some other transmissions came in, just kobra letting everyone know that he was in the right place. The kid was african american, had chin length curly brown hair, and was around 6 years old. In a sea of creepy people dressed in all white it couldnt be that hard to find them. She could have swore she had checked every camera in the place twice before hearing something else on the line.

“Hey, hey pepsi?” fun ghoul whispered into the com. Cherri groaned putting his head in his hands before answering.

“What, G?”

“Whats a spies favourite type of shoes?” newsie had to stop herself from laughing. 

Her and ghoul had done a mission together 2 years earlier and she had been looking up horrible spy related jokes to tell him on the way home to distract him from the fact that he got stabbed and was bleeding out in the car. She had told ghoul this joke and he was delirious from the meds she had given him, he ended up laughing so hard he busted the stitches on his stab wound. Now he wouldnt let the joke go.

“I Dont Know G What Is A Spies Favourite Type Of Shoe '' cherri sounded incredibly done with the whole conversation and it had been less than a minute.

Ghoul stopped himself from laughing before answering “sneakers-”

Newsie bursted out laughing as cherri looked like he had lost about ten years off his life span. After a couple more minutes newsie gasped, checking one of the cameras. Two men dressed in all white were escorting a small kid out of a room she hadn't realized was there. The kid fit the description she was given, and she got back on the coms as soon as she could.

“This is news, the target has been found. The target seems to be heading for the objective, look out K.” newsies adrenaline was pumping no matter how many missions she went on this was always the part that made it worth it. When the plan was just about to work, when the blood rushed through her and she almost felt light headed hopping that everything would turn out okay. It was the thrill of it that newsies was there for.

Cherri looked relieved, giving her a silent high five. That was until he seemed to get a transmission on his coms that no one else could hear.

“. . .nat” he started slowly. That was never good. He never called newsie by her real name, it wasnt that she didnt like her name she just didnt use it. Code names were always easier. “Nat, i need you to not freak out but we need to finish this as soon as we can.”

“You never call me that.” she was starting to panic “you never call me that- whats happening?”

“The nest has been compromised” cherri was speaking quiet, like he didnt believe it himself. “Doctor dee says we need to get the kid and re group on the edge of town, he’ll contact us.”

Newsies blood ran cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe tell me what you think in the comments!


	4. yes this is based on that scene in black friday shut up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> living in a van kinda sucks

Living in a van fucking sucked. Newsie had to live in a car before, sometimes a mission goes south and you have to do what you have to do. But this time it wasnt just her and cherri, this time it was six spies and a little girl who no one was sure could even talk. Fucking fantastic.

The girl was doing okay for someone who has, according to the files newsie was still working on, lived in a warehouse her whole life. It was overwhelming, everyone kept asking newsie for information she didnt have yet. Cherri seemed to share her pain. He didnt know when dee was going to contact the group, he didnt know what had happened to the other agents, he didnt know anymore than any of them.

At least thats what he was saying.

Even though newsie trusted cherri with her life, he was a spy. Spies are quite literally paid to lie and get out of situations, and he seemed to be looking at that kid like they were a bomb or something. He clearly knew something and wasnt saying it.

Jet was trying to find a place besides the van for the group to stay and kobra, party, and ghoul had gone out to get food but mainly to get out of the van that had been parked in an abandoned target parking lot for a day now. She couldnt blame them honestly.

Cherri was on transmissions so it was newsie’s turn to watch the kid. She sat in silence across from her, criss cross on the floor of the van under the table with all the computers. The girl looked up shyly at her, giving a sliver of a smile before going back to staring at the ground again. She was dressed in all white like the people at the warehouse, a white tank top and white shorts. It was fall so it was too cold to be dressed like that, especially upstate where they were.

“Cold?” newsie could see the little girl shivering. When she nodded newsie started to shrug off her over sized green jacket “you can borrow this until we get you real clothes, it would keep you warmer at night”

The girl looked terrified and shook her head as fast as she could, pushing the jacket away.

“You dont want it?” newsie asked, trying to stay patient “it has nice pins on it, i wouldnt mind if you wanted to play with them?”

“Not supposed to wear colour” the girl mumbled, staring hard at the ground. Cherri looked back from his seat at that, surprised she talked.

“Why not?” newsie asked her softly.

“The bad men dont like it when you do” the girl was frozen, wide eyed at the jacket.

Newsie was thrown off guard a little, but took it with stride putting the jacket off to the side. “Well the bad men cant get you here, we’re gonna make sure they cant, okay?”

“Cant hide. . .they are good at finding” newsie felt like her heart was being ripped in half but softly took her hand, trying to calm her down.

“What they dont know, is that i have something thats going to make it so they cant find you ever again” newsie was speaking softly, and the girl looked up confused “now its a very dangerous thing to give away, i need you to promise me you wont abuse the power okay?”

“. . .okay?”

“Now this hat,” newsie took out a blue ball cap from behind her. It was worn, she had gotten it a while ago when she was out of state on an assignment “it was gifted to me by great warriors from lands far beyond the place you used to be or this van or anywhere you will ever see”

The girl seemed amazed by that but cherri snorted from where he was sitting.

“Dont you fucking laugh-” newsie muttered at him “this hat can protect you from bad men, monsters, scary shadows, sounds in the night, anything so long as you are wearing it. All you have to do is put it on and you will be safe.”

“. . .you promise?” she asked almost silently, looking up a newsie.

“Cross my heart, hope to die starlight” newsie smiled handing over the hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters out in one day? fucking wack man


	5. newsie had a bruh moment

jet had told the group there was an abandoned motel on the edge of town that should be safe for them as long as the kid stayed hidden. moving things from the van to the broken down motel room was tough but after a bit of work and jump starting the generator the group was set back up. now it was just a matter of time before doctor dee contacted the group and they could get the fuck out of dodge.

newsie felt like she was going to fall asleep leaning forward trying to decipher more files. she still hadnt learned anything, didnt know what that warehouse really wasnt, didnt know what was up with this kid. she felt clueless. and cherri wasnt helping either seeing as he wasnt telling her shit.

"you should sleep" fun ghoul commented, picking at the chipped black nail polish he had on. he was sitting under the windowsill of the one shattered one of the room, looking bored out of his mind. newsie couldnt blame him, besides when the girl started panicking nothing was going on in the motel room. jet, party, and kobra went out for supplies but of course newsie had to stay behind. she had work to do.

"fat chance, i'll sleep when party gets back so he can give this a stab"

"if you dont sleep you are going to crash" cherri commented, newsie glaring at him.

"you've barely slept an hour since we got back with the kid- which, by the way, none of us know anything about" she tried, ignoring the girls head snapping up "but im sure if we knew we would tell each other, right?"

"of course" cherri replied smoothly "it would be information crucial to the case"

newsie just made a noise of frustration, pushing her computer back.

". . .what do you want to know?" she had been focusing so hard it startled her hearing the girls voice. newsie blinked, registering what was said to her before turning around to face the girl. newsie got up and sat down on the old beat up mattress that was in the room the girl had also been sitting on.

"why were you at that place?" the girl seemed to beam when asked that question.

"because of my friend!" she told newsie excitedly, making ghoul look up.

". . .who's your friend?" the girl looked down, putting her hands in her lap.

"he isnt here right now" she said softer, still not looking at newsie. "i cant sleep very well without him. he keeps me safe."

"where is he then? what does he look like?" newsie was going to burn down that warehouse if there were more children being held there.

"he's in my room- i couldnt get him before i was taken out of there. . .looks all um. . .plasticy and square. . .like someone made out of boxes" newsie tried to give a soft smile to the girl. was newsie about to break into a now heavily guarded warehouse to go get this little girl her plastic robot back? well like she always said, what cherri doesnt know cant bite her in the ass until she already did the thing. her and ghoul made eye contact. he seemed to have the same idea.


	6. operation fuck jet star lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jet star is a wet blanket

"okay, ghoul and newsie, you two go and get batteries." newsie grinned and gave fun ghoul a high five. this was the best possible outcome. cherri's fm transmitter took batteries and had died half way through a transmission that morning. not quite the best possible outcome, but newsie would take any chance she could to talk to ghoul alone. jet continued, after a moment "while newsie is gone, i need party on the files. continue to work them out, we are close to getting somewhere. kobra and cherri can make sure the kid is distracted and stays inside."

the girl was asleep on the mattress and everyone but cherri and jet glanced over to her. after refusing to go to sleep the night before she had passed out by sunrise. newsie wasnt sure why she cared about this kid, she usually wasnt that nice to people in general let alone some random 6 year old but if anything happened to the girl newsie swore she would lose it. she just had to keep reminding herself that at the end of the mission the kid was being handed over to dee and probably send somewhere else. god newsie didnt want to think about that.

". . .so you are saying me and news get the van today-" ghoul clarified, grinning.

"dont make me regret this, dumbass" jet sighed as ghouls smile widened "you two are just getting batteries and coming back. if you stop for food dont use the van, walk in okay?"

"you might not realize this but me and ghoul are ALSO spies" newsie leaned on ghouls shoulder "i think im competent enough to not get our license plate tracked or anything- and we dont even know how many files the people that breached the nest have they could have nothing on us."

the worst part about all of this was how little the group knew. they knew there was a breach at the nest, they knew the girl was being hunted down by whatever that warehouse was, but other than that the group knew nothing. they didnt know who breached the nest, or how much information they had. newsie was a midnight runner for doc, she had been for a couple years now, so she knew how serious this could be. just because she liked a little fun didnt mean she didnt understand what was going on.

jet just rolled his eyes as party moved past the three of them to get started on using the laptop. newsie's lap top. if he didnt wipe the thing off after she was going to kick his ass. 

"just go already, before the kid wakes up and wants to come with" 

both newsie and ghoul gave him a fake salute before giggling to themselves walking out the door, grabbing the keys from a spot next to the door frame.

"so we are getting that kid their toy back, right? like thats a given?" ghoul asked, as soon as he sat down in the van. it was cold, newsie felt a chill run up her spine when she leaned back in her seat. it was better than if this had happened in summer at least, the clouds were nice and the sun wasnt in her eyes.

"we are going to uh. . .get batteries" newsie told him sarcastically "just going to get batteries and come back, if we stop for food no drive through"

". . .you stashed a laptop in here last night didnt you"

"yes and it should be good enough to get into the security cameras at the warehouse-"

"alright- i go in vents you stay in the van as back up?"

"who are you jet star? im not getting stuck in the van on another mission fuck you, i know you can hack perfectly fine ghoul." ghoul made a face at her and she made one right back "you stay in the van i go in the vents, we dont have coms but this should be in and out piece of cake. we can even get batteries on our way home."

"then operation 'fuck jet star lives' is a go?"

"operation 'fuck jet star lives' is a go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmk what you think!


	7. van life still sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> newsie and ghoul talk in the van. the gross van. fuck the van.

Operation: fuck jet star lives, as it turns out, was not a go.

“We need the generator to get the computer started news-” ghoul thought out loud, tapping the keys on the laptop anxiously. The laptop that wouldnt turn on, no matter how nicely them and newsie asked.

“But cherri needs the generator in the motel- is there anyway we could use the van to like, , ,jump start it?” ghoul stared at her blankly for a couple seconds before bursting out laughing.

“Oh my fucking god do not tell me you are serious-”

“No! Well- maybe! The engine makes energy electricity is energy the computer needs electricity- arent you the one who claims to have passed the last test at the nest with a battery a piece of tinfoil and some duck tape? If anyone would know how to it would be you-”

“I deal with the possible newsie-”

“Im breaking up with you.”

“Babe no-”

“Our relationship cant take this babe.”

Ghoul groaned, putting their head on the headrest of their seat pressing their palms into their eyes for a second thinking “okay, okay i need a usb cord, a phone charger, and this car to turn on”

“I knew you could do it!” newsie scrambled to the back of the car, finding a usb cord fast and handing it to ghoul “its standard a- will that still work?”

“Yeah, yeah thats fine- wire cutters?” newsie handed them a pair from the bottom of cherri’s tool box. He would go insane if he found out the two used his stuff for this. She dug around to find a phone charger as ghoul cut the wire casing from the usb cord. “Full offence, if this blows up the laptop this is quite literally all your fault and you have to be the one to tell cherri and jet.”

“The laptop wont explode, you have very little faith in me ghoul.”

“You tried to tell me we could jump start a laptop using an engine.”

“Thats what we are doing right now!”

“Never speak to me or my son again.” ghoul turned so that newsie couldnt see what they were doing with the usb cord and newsie flipped them off, still looking for a phone charger.  
“Do we need the whole thing or the charging block?”

“Just the charging block.” newsie tossed it at ghoul, flopping back into her seat. “Red and black for power, white and green for data right?”

“I thought you were good at this.”

“How the hell does cherri stand you”

“We need a female pin header for this dont we-” newsie sat up suddenly in realization “how the hell are we going to get a hold of one of those?”

Ghoul hesitated for a moment, still stripping wires “Thats where the whole ‘the laptop could explode’ thing comes into play- this is a lot of work for getting a little girl her toy back, we could just go buy batteries and get back to the motel.”

“There’s something special about that girl.” newsie claimed softer, looking out the window of the van “not sure what yet, cherri and jet seem to know more than they’re saying.”

“Jets always like that” ghoul claimed, frowning at their wires “always getting different jobs from the doc, there’s a chance he isnt even a real part of or mission.”

“And we’re just supposed to deal with that?” newsie flexed her fingers, getting fired up “we’ve been working at the nest just as long- dee needs to tell us more.”

Ghoul nodded in agreement but turned to her “im sure things will make more sense when you and party finish with those files.”

“But what will it matter if the nest is breached? What if dee contacts us and cherri doesnt let us know? Or jet keeps it from us?” newsies thoughts were spiralling. This was supposed to be an in and out job, not a week of questioning everything she thought she knew.

Her thoughts were cut off by ghoul wrapping her into a hug.

“We dont know a lot of things news, its scary for all of us okay? All we can do is just work with what we have.” they were speaking softer to her “after we get that robot how about we go get food? We could even get drive-through or something, ‘long as jet doesnt find out- him and cherri might ground us.”

Newsie laughed. It was a laugh of stress more than anything but she put her face in ghouls shoulder hugging him back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guess what this series is back i know you all missed it so much

**Author's Note:**

> tell me if i should continue this uwu


End file.
